The Power of Talking to Baby...

Sitting in the library, reading what should be my notes for class tomorrow. I ran across an article in the New York Times that discusses the importance of talking to your fetus, infant, child. This is a practice I took on at an early age with my little sister. Even though she was deaf until the age of two, we'd get into spirited debates with her about politics, the weather, food - you name it. Almost thirteen years later, she's one of the brightest, most intelligent children I know. Her tone is impeccable (with the exception of her NewYorkJamaicanDominican accent); something that is uncommon in the deaf community. As soon as her Cochlear was turned on, we were having full blown conversations about her day or the color of her clothes, or my father's beard. I know this was integral in her growth and development, no matter how trivial people may have thought it was at the time. 

The article stresses the importance of "Family conversation," and describes the difference between families on welfare and higher earning families in the way they interact with their children. 

    "The disparity was staggering. Children whose families were on welfare heard about 600

Aunty, Uncle and Baby Nas...

words per hour. Working-class children heard 1,200 words per hour, and children from professional families heard 2,100 words. By age 3, a poor child would have heard 30 million fewer words in his home environment than a child from a professional family. And the disparity mattered: the greater the number of words children heard from their parents or caregivers before they were 3, the higher their IQ and the better they did in school. TV talk not only didn’t help, it was detrimental."

Coming from a lower-middle class family, we never experienced this issue. My parents were educated, higher educated, then educated again in America. They encouraged us with conversation and made sure we spoke proper English in the home. We didn't receive welfare, so maybe this played a part - but they provided us with books and limited our TV time. Creativity was fostered through toys and time with friends. We turned out pretty good.

Daddy & Baby time... 

At work, some of my co-workers don't seem to grasp the concepts I'm talking about. When Baby kicks, I talk to my belly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to jerk like that" or "I know, I'm hungry too!" At this stage in prenatal development, the baby is beginning to recognize our voices and hear sounds. I find it very important to let Baby know I'm here at all times. I said something to my belly one day, and a co-worker said, "Will you stop being a first-time mother already?" She's the same one who told me she wasn't excited about her first pregnancy. I wonder what her children are like. Conversely, my also pregnant co-worker talks to her tummy, too! She's due with her second child any day now. Pretty sure her kid's a smart one. 

     "Hart and Risley later wrote that children’s level of language development starts to level off when it matches that of their parents — so a language deficit is passed down through

generations. They found that parents talk much more to girls than to boys (perhaps because girls are more sociable, or because it is Mom who does most of the care, and parents talk more to children of their gender). This might explain why young, poor boys have particular trouble in school. And they argued that the disparities in word usage correlated so closely with academic success that kids born to families on welfare do worse than professional-class children entirely because their parents talk to them less. In other words, if everyone talked to their young children the same amount, there would be no racial or socioeconomic gap at all. (Some other researchers say that while word count is extremely important, it can’t be the only factor.)"

I can attest to this comparison, as I know plenty of kids I grew up with whose parents barely spoke to them. If it wasn't to chastise or threaten, it was very little conversation. My mother and I would sit and have senseless conversation all the time, in addition to the intellectual chatter. My brother and I excelled in school (with the exception of math - I suck at math) and I graduated with honors courses in High School. Most of the kids I grew up with either dropped out or never pursued college education. 

Maybe their mothers didn't talk to their bellies, either. Hmmm... 

Sources:

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/the-power-of-talking-to-your-baby/?src=me&ref=general 

Motherhood and Other Such Things.

When I say these past few weeks have been hectic - I mean it! Graduation is slowly approaching, so I have been bogged down with papers and presentations and case studies, etc. My fatigue is returning in waves; I get tired like every other day and have to sneak out of the office for a quick nap. We're finally moving - and I remember what I loathed about that act in the first place; packing. Grandma's ashes have made their arrival to Florida - her first time here. I've already put my bid in for split custody of her with my mom, it may sound morbid but I'd really appreciate her spirit around me right now. I am overwhelmed with emotions and tasks to complete - and it's only Monday! 

Friday made my 20th week - which in non-pregnant terms means my fifth month. I'm halfway through my pregnancy and more anxious than ever. I fear miscarriage with a passion that seeps into my bones, and I've been doing my best to stay happy and light on my feet. It's hard to do that when you're a 25 year-old woman on the go. I work full time, go to school and pursue my goals all at the same time. If I feel a cramp, I worry. Thank God for Hubby, who reads What to Expect like it's the Bible right now; he knows more about my pregnant body than I do! He's there to reassure me that pain is a natural part of the process, as are a lot of the other changes I'm experiencing. He even compliments me on my appearance, which has changed drastically from the gym rat I used to be. You can see what's left of my abdominal muscles melting into my pelvis there. I actually embrace my pregnant self, but can't help but remember what used to be. However - I love these new hips I've got and can't wait to get back into the gym and get it all right! 

Today's events in Boston brought me back to a solemn place. It reminded me of 9/11 and the panic we went through that day and the days to follow. The news coverage today shook me,

because it was just last weekend that my brother and I were in Boston on a layover to New York for Grandma's sunset. We sat and talked about how beautiful Boston was, despite being avid Yankee fans. Seeing the blood on the streets was terrifying, and the lives lost are irreplaceable. As the days pass, I'm sure we will find out who is responsible for these senseless bombings, and I fear what comes next. I will continue to hug my family tighter and be aware of my surroundings. We cannot live in fear, but simply appreciate the days we have on this earth and the nights we lay our heads safely at home. I just can't believe I was that close to the danger. Again. God is good. 

I count my blessings again today. I thank God for life. Every problem I feel is so big has been minimized to nothing. I will conquer it with His will. 

In good news, we find out Baby's gender on Wednesday! We have an idea of what he/she is - but it's better not to guess. I can't wait to finally know for sure - stay tuned! 

Mommy Brain...

With all that has happened in the past few weeks, I must say my plate is full. Finding a home for us and baby, losing my grandmother, juggling my workload and school - I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I've managed to keep calm and thug it out, but deep down inside I want to go somewhere far and be quiet. I know just the place...

I've got quite a few fears that I don't speak about. My usual mode of operation is to play it cool and panic when I'm alone. This condo search was a wild goose chase, and now that we're on the final stretch to a new home I pray hard that everything runs smoothly. Spinning around in that living room today really brought me to reality.

I'm having a baby.

Which brings me to my next fear. Miscarriage. I don't even want to harp on this topic, but all I do these days are make sure I'm well fed, well rested and as happy as I can be. I haven't been told by the doctor that I'm at any risk at all, but considering the events of the past few years I am just terrified of this word. I know, however, that it's all in God's hands and he has protected us all thus far. All I can do is continue to trust in him and live life accordingly. 

Grandma wasn't here to meet Baby, or see me graduate or get married. It devastated me to know these things would not come to pass before her eyes - and each is only in a matter of months!

Gender in two weeks, the suspense is maddening! 

Life is truly a blessing. Cherish it! 

My history...

My future...

Nesting.

Me. Maternity Pillow. Movie. 

I'm a social being. I enjoy being out with friends, family and good company overall. On a normal weekend, there's nothing I want more than to be out and about at the local art gallery or a late night sushi spot - or even just a drive to nowhere. Since "catching" pregnant (as my friends say), however - my priorities have shifted a bit.

Most nights, especially weeknights - I enjoy coming home to a clean quiet house and unwinding before bed. Sometimes, I enjoy the company of myself and the little flickers in my tummy before Boyfriend comes home. I call this chapter of my life "Nesting," simply because it seems that I'm preparing for the stage when it will just be me, Boyfriend and Baby in the comfort of our own space and solace. I look forward to these days. 

Unfortunately, some people don't understand this concept. As a Cancer, I tend to sense the feelings of others before they even say anything; I know I can't expect that from others. Some human beings are so engrossed in their own pleasures and enjoyments that they completely bypass the considerations and feelings of others. This is an issue I'm having right now with specific individuals. Even when I voice my opinions, thoughts and feelings - they continue to do what they'd like. All the while not realizing that when a mother lion feels threatened or irritated, her fangs will show. I'm nearing that point. 

Lol, if I'm not there already. 

I guess it's a feeling you don't fully understand until you're in it. Considering that I've raised everyone else's children, I tend to have an inside view on motherhood that I can't really explain. I understand certain things. The feeling of losing your baby. The concern about having a healthy pregnancy. Wanting to protect your loved ones. Simply wanting to be alone. I get touched by co-workers all day at work, so I can only hope that when I say I don't like it - my own loved ones will respect that. 

Hope is just a dream sometimes, though. Grrrr...

Ciara - "Body Party" Preview

When Ciara comes back out, she usually comes hard. Considering that Ghost Town DJ's "My Boo" is one of my ultimate bounce classic songs, this really did something for me. As soon as the intro comes in, you feel the song pulsating in the back of your mind. Definitely a good look for Ci-Ci. 



Now I want to pop and grind all over the place - something I've got nooo business doing right about now, lol. This is definitely a song for the whip though, Bose bass sounds incredible with Bounce music! 

14.

14 Weeks. Sheesh! 

You've got fingernails, and hair all over. You're squinching your little eyes when I poke you - yeah, I'm kind of annoying. Three more weeks and we meet again. I can't wait! Watching you kick and squirm around was amazing. I understand why people want to touch me now - you've created some sort of aura that I can't explain. 

No nausea, fatigue is gone - and this maternity pillow has been giving me life! The second trimester really is pretty dope so far. If you can keep this up, we might make you a sibling next year, lol. 

Just kidding. 

Anyway - that is all for now. I'm going to find something to feast on before bed. And pop these TUMS like candy. Tomorrow, we're back to work! 

The Wonders of Life

I tell ya, facing the prospects of death make life seem that much more precious. This weekend, we endured a health scare with my Grandma. My Grandma and I have come a long way from where we once were. She was this miserable old woman who I did not look forward to being around when I was growing up. As time passed and I became more mature, that woman imparted some serious wisdom upon me. My brother and I would spend weekends in Queens and her and I'd lay up in bed just talking until she dozed off. My insomnia would keep me awake, and I'd listen to her boring talk radio shows til sunup. I'll never forget those nights.

In my adult life, I've spent hours talking with my grandma; lotioning her little hands and legs for her when arthritis wouldn't let her do it on her own. She makes dirty little jokes now, when she wouldn't even look at a couple kissing years before. You see, I think my grandmother used to loathe living. At a certain point in her life she just existed and wished to die. She'd gripe and complain about aches and pains and hoped that God would take her away. Then, one day we decided to throw her a surprise party. All of us flew in from our respective states and screamed (gently) as she slowly walked into the back yard. We ate, we laughed, we joked and shared photos. Grandma yelled out "Lawd (Lord), mi nuh wah dead again! Dis nice!" It literally brought a tear to my eye. From that day forward, she was a little better.

And better, and better. Now I don't even think she remembers those days. And I'm glad she doesn't. Each year she gets a little funnier, a little more jovial, more lighthearted and positive. When I told her I was pregnant - I flew up to NY just to deliver the news. It was something I wanted to feel; a reaction I wanted to see for myself. I had to bring Boyfriend with me to join in on the excitement. She didn't chastise me or try to shame me. Her eyes grew wide (and we all know how chinky they are) and she gasped! Asked me if I was happy, asked me if he's a good man. Threatened him with violence if he doesn't take care of me. I was overfilled with joy.

The day she went into the hospital with heart failure was a major blow for me. Mommy took my latest ultrasound and showed it to her. Said, "you've got to be strong for the baby." Her first great grandchild. An amazing victory for a woman who didn't fully enjoy life until her later years. Afraid that we'd grow up to be "cruffs" or no-goods. Look at us now, Grandma! College grads, sorority sisters, businessmen, military veterans - soon to be mother. You did good. Don't worry. Nuh worry yuh head, we ah go behave!

Life, I tell ya. I appreciate it more and more as the sun rises each day. You just never know what's next.

Kendrick Lamar feat. Drake - "Poetic Justice" ((Video))

One of my favorite songs on the album, Kendrick continues his storytelling with the Poetic Justice video. Sherane is definitely getting around, and clearly she lives for the thrill. Lol, who doesn't mess with Drake? 

One time for Compton's Love Child! 

Kendrick Lamar feat. Drake - "Poetic Justice"