((Not the actual letter. duh.))
So, I wrote Him a letter the other night. It was late, I was restless, and I had an unfinished poem open on the bed. I just said what I felt. Wrote about our past and how it shaped my life. I have no idea why I did it. I guess I just feel like I needed to get things out in the air. I mean, he was like a dirty word for years - I couldn't even think his name or I'd get evil looks from L. I had a brilliant plan about how I was gonna give it to Him before I headed back to Florida, but I couldn't balls up enough to bring it with me. I wonder if some things should be left unsaid. I just feel like at this stage in the game, I can't afford to leave things up to fate too much. At the same time, I don't want to press issues and seem too eager. I'm kind of certain things are getting serious, but - ugh! I have never been so unsure of myself! And it's not because I think highly of me or anything - it's because I've never wanted someone this bad in my life. I have wanted to be with this man since my sophomore year in High School. I was willing to put my actual relationship on the line back then for him - and now I'm putting everything out there. And I don't mind it. I just want reassurance that it's worth it. It's crazy, because I feel like I get a lot from him - but he's just - gorgeous, and I worry that this may not be enough for him. 1500 miles away is a whole helluva lot, and from past experience - long distance took a gang of work. I hope he doesn't think I'm trying to force him into anything, but I
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