As a "Good Girl," sometimes we get shafted. We each have our vices; some of us try too hard to be what others want us to, some of us work way too much to please others. Others, like me - take too much passion into taking care of those we love. This is my biggest vice, and it ends up getting the best of me in the long run. Right now is no different. But let's keep it general, for the public's sake.
The Ride or Die title is a coveted one - because there aren't too many women out there that can live up to it. This is one that is earned over the course of years, by a woman who holds someone down to the fullest. It doesn't need to be a love interest; it can be family, friends - even one's job. We do whatever it takes to make sure the ones we love are healthy, happy or at least safe, often at the risk of our own sanity. Whether it be waiting for your man to "come home," helping a friend when funds are low, or just looking out for someone when the chips are down - the Ride or Die is the one that comes running first.
But, where is the limit? When do you draw the line?
The whole purpose of being a Ride or Die chick is that no matter what, you are the one people look towards for help. Hence the words Ride or Die. 3am, car breaks down on i95? You're the only one who will answer the phone and be there with the quickness. Down to your last dollar? She's the one who will break hers in half to make sure you eat. Shoulder to cry on? She's there.
So why, I ask - are we the ones who get shafted?
Why is it, that when he gets out of jail - he leaves her for the chick who's been sending him kites throughout his bid? He doesn't stay with the woman who put money on his books, food in his commissary - the one who picked him up on his release day.
How come the friend who will tote you to and from work when your car breaks down, can't find you when their transmission blows? Or the one who filled your tank can't get $5 on it when she drives you to the club?
The woman who was with you through your rough times. When you were unemployed and broke, she kept your spirits up and made you home cooked meals every day. Why then, do you abandon her when you come into good fortune?
I think the lesson we all can learn here is simple. Listen to the flight attendants when they give us the safety procedures during flights. When the oxygen masks drop down, you must secure the mask around your face before assisting others. To truly own this, title, we have to be secure within ourselves. It is a difficult task to take on, but we're strong willed - or we wouldn't be able to help everyone else, right? I've watched women run themselves into the ground looking out for others. Myself being one of them. Then, in a crazy course of events - I realized that I need myself to help others survive. What good am I if my spirit is too weak to uplift them?
People take advantage of what they have in abundance. Throwing out the last half of your dinner, messing up a perfectly good t-shirt while dying your hair, slamming your phone down when you get angry. We never really realize how valuable those things are until we don't have them, or until they're almost gone. The African children starving on dirt-paved roads, the homeless man dressed in tattered clothes - the battered woman who couldn't call 911. Guarantee they'd appreciate it all a bit more than us. Sometimes that's what our loved ones need in order to come back to reality, in order to be thankful for the dying breed that is always one call away. We need to pull away sometimes, let them see what breathing is like with less air. Work on our sanity, be there for ourselves.
A man once asked me why I didn't have my boyfriend checking my car fluids, testing my tire pressure at the gas station. "Pretty girl like you, you shouldn't be doing this!" I told him simply, "Why not? Because if he leaves - who will check it then?"
