Saturday, June 7, 2014

Blockin'

It's been a while, I know. 

A while back, I had to block someone from my life. Not because he was creepy. Not because he continued to pursue, despite having a family at home. I did it because he reminded me of my father. Now, I don't usually blog about my family issues, because home stays at home. However, it's my blog - and I'm pretty sure my pops will never read this. 

The fact that my ex could impregnate someone not long after we stopped seeing each other made me laugh. It showed me that I was being negligent, foolish and what some would call naive. I allowed him to do what he wanted while I wasted my time only seeing him for about six months. 

I discovered that he had a live-in girlfriend, and even after I stopped dating him - I felt compelled to keep socializing with him. He brought me no financial gain, so I'm not really sure why. In a sense, I felt bad for him. The psychology major in me wanted to find the root cause to his stupidity and propose a solution to it. Eventually I concluded that it would be a cold day in hell before that happened. I gave up and started removing him from my social media platforms. If we are to be friends - I need honesty. He couldn't even give me that. 

After finally remembering to block him everywhere, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I will not be that woman that your girlfriend finds in your phone; her number laden with messages of what you want to do with her, to her. I lost desire for the man years ago,  so it really wouldn't have mattered - but my karmic energy relies on being true to myself. I wasn't. I was being an enabler for no other reason other than feeling pity for him. For what? As he sleeps comfortably next to the woman he pretended to loathe. Or maybe he does loathe her. Who gives a shit? 

Anyway, life is good. The lesson I taught myself that day was simple. Just as you shouldn't block your blessings, you should block your curses just as hard. Pushing him out of my life made way for people who deserved to be back in it. I'm so glad for that.