Depression and Suicide. R.I.P. Chris Lighty.

Image Via ForRefugees.com

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was in NY, fighting to see Bar in the hospital when I got the phone call. 

"Your uncle C. died," my mom said.

 How? I asked. 

"He hung himself today." 

I broke down instantly. Deep down in my heart, I always feared that it would happen. He was ill, paranoid, schizophrenic for a few years. It grew progressively worse as time wore on - until one day it happened. My aunt found him in the basement in the worst way ever - hanging from a pipe. The visual alone made me lose the little bit of sleep I got for months. I couldn't even imagine how she felt, or my little cousin who lost his father. Half his immediate family was gone. 

My aunt tried everything she could for him. Calling the suicide hotline to come to their home in Queens - but if he didn't want help, they couldn't force him. The sickness had taken full control of his brain, he'd threaten to kill himself - he'd be enraged for hours. All we could do was pray. 

Suicide is a cloud that follows me every once in a while. I've been in that place before. I lost my virginity at 12 in such a traumatic way. I didn't know what to do with myself - I wanted that day to come where I wouldn't wake up. I contemplated ways to make it happen. God saved me. My family couldn't understand what was wrong; I didn't want to go out, didn't want to eat. Refused to wear the clothes my mom would buy me. Flannel shirts and oversized jeans were my wardrobe for months. I was so young and naive, I had no clue that there was help for how I felt. Even my "best friend" ridiculed me for my behavior. Luckily that feeling subsided. For many, it never does.

Photo Via AllHipHop.com

Chris Lighty's death sparked a huge debate on the severity of depression and suicide. He had recently divorced his wife, as well as the five million dollars in tax debt he was alleged to be in. I can imagine the overwhelming feelings that came over him - not to mention being diagnosed with depression. Many people don't feel that the disease is legitimate, and that's because they've never experienced it. Some of us have support systems and the strength to pull out of that world, but others are not as blessed. To hear people judge him for taking his life made me sick to my stomach. Suicide is not always a cowardly act, it is one of sickness. Instead of pointing a finger, why not reach out a hand to help pull them up? No one has the right to judge but GOD - and he takes care of the ill. Therefore if this man was right with his maker, he is in heaven where he belongs. I am repulsed by anyone who casts stones at others, when they live in foggy glass houses.

I just wish everyone realized that it gets better. I've been down hard roads before, and once I pushed through it - the victory was so worth it. There are groups and centers available that cater to those in need of friends or a helping hand. 

If you feel like you need help, or know someone at risk of suicide, please see the links below as well as the phone numbers...

National Suicide Numbers: http://suicidehotlines.com/

Considering Suicide? - Please call us | yourlifeyourvoice.org

www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/

We're here to listen. We're here to help.

1. Suicide Prevention | DBSAlliance.org

   www.dbsalliance.org/

   Learn Warning Signs, Treatment Facts & More. We're Here To Help!

2. Considering Suicide? | ContactWeCare.org

   www.contactwecare.org/

   When You Need Someone to Listen - Someone to Care, Give Us a Call
   
   
   It gets better...
   
   
   
   
   

Pardon the Hiatus - but the Vadge is here...

Sorry for the sporadic moments of blogging - but I've been working on my brainchild and I'm ready to share it with you. Behold -

V For Vadge.com. 

If you've ever had an awkward or uncomfortable sex related question - this is the place for you. All your questions will be anonymous, as well as the posts, and the answers will be from credible, cited sources to ensure quality. 

So far, I've gotten quite a few anonymous questions and answered them all. It's great to know that other people have the same questions we all would like to ask. It's even hard to ask the doctor sometimes, but having the knowledge before you do makes it a whole lot easier. 

Here's a sample post: 

Awkward Questions: Where Is the G-Spot?

The mythical G-Spot has been a topic of controversy for years, with many believing that such a spot does not even exist. Named after the man who discovered it, the (Dr.) Grafenberg spot is said to create super powerful orgasms ...

So, feel free to take a look; post your questions anonymously or email us - vforvadge@gmail.com. 

 I promise you'll leave satisfied... 

Brandy feat. Chris Brown - "Put It Down" ((Video))

Brandy is back! 






I can tell Breezy wrote her hook and such, but I love the beat and the song is catchy. She's looking great in the video as well, age has done nothing to her. Her dance skills weren't half bad next to Chris Brown, either! 

P.S. - her Lacefront game is so tight! You can't even tell! 

Brandy Feat. Chris Brown - "Put it Down" from her forthcoming album "Two Eleven" ...

August CurlBox Opening Video - My Second Vid & July Review!

After a few shipping glitches, I finally got my second CurlBox today - I was too hype. I read Myleik saying on Instagram that they were shipping out of bigger boxes, and I wondered why. Well - it's because there were not one, but TWO full sized samples this month!! Carol's Daughter's infamous Hair Milk was one of them. I'm pretty damn excited, because I used up most of the products under my sink just so CurlBox would be worth it. 

Last month's box did not disappoint. It came just in time for me to pack for our family trip to Myrtle Beach. After the second use, I fell in love with the Motions Naturally You Moisturizing Cleanser and Smoothing Conditioner. My hair curled so nice and soft after air drying - especially after rubbing in the Shea Radiance Repair Cream. Everything looks so moist and shiny, despite the drying blonde dye I subject myself to in June. They even helped smooth out my home made blowout I tried while on vacation. 

Peep my opening video below - with a cameo from KidSister :) 

Chris Wynter feat. Joel Wolfe - "Cocaine Kisses"

So, for the past week I've been playing this song nonstop. I love the elements in the instrumentals, the strength of the bass - not to mention the voice. Chris is so damn velvety when he's on the mic, you just can't help but to listen. 

I had the pleasure of catching a Miami studio session with Mr. Wynter and the SingleHouse team while they were finalizing the single. That cute little giggle in the third verse? Yeah, that's me. I spit a little background vocals, too - see if you can spot me. 

I can't wait to hear what's next to come on his solo album - he's definitely a musical genius. You've got a fan for life, sir! 


Not to mention that he's foooiinnneeee!! *bats eyelashes* 

For your musical pleasure - Chris Wynter feat. Joel Wolfe - "Cocaine Kisses..." 

My First CurlBox Opening Video!!

It took me months to get on the CurlBox VIP list - I even paid for Wifi while I was in Jamaica to get on it, and they still sold out! So, I finally devised a plan to get it while I was in Puerto Rico - and it worked. Big thanks to CousinJin for stalking the sign up while I was out of the country. 

The packaging was beautiful, I love the wrapping paper - it's like getting a present every month in the mail! The color scheme is boss as well.


I finally got in for July, and the box did not disappoint. Take a minute to peep my box opening video: 

I know there was a bit of controversy because of the Luster's Pink Lotion, probably because of its ingredients. I have read, though - that they have reconfigured the original ingredients to be more natural friendly. I haven't used any products in the box yet, but I will be testing them out daily on my road trip next week. Stay tuned, and let me know if you've tried any of these products before I do! 

Airport Thuggin - "Deja de Caer"

It's a journey you've been on before, yet each trip is a different path. You try to prepare yourself, bringing the necessary essentials; warm heart, strong arms, honest lips. You spend days, months, sometimes years training, building endurance for the excursion of your life. "This is it - this is the one", you say to yourself and press on.


   The climb is hard, your arms grow weary, you begin to lose your footing. A wave of fear comes over you, "will I fall again?" Memories of pain paralyze your body, and you begin to get cold feet. Suddenly you slip, the ground turning into air beneath you. Bracing yourself for the impact, you claw, fight and scratch for anything to hold on to. Nearing the ground, you give up hope - but just as you get close, a strong, but gentle wind appears and lifts you. The breeze caresses your face, cradles you, and lifts you back to the heights where you belong. 


A renewed strength boosts your energy and sends you climbing with a firm grip. You hear a voice, and find someone climbing behind you - he has arrived. The wind has brought you company, a climber who endured the rough terrain and is now sitting at the top - with you... 


Random thoughts... 

The Dream feat. Pusha T. - "Dope" ((Video))

The Radio Killer is back! 


I love the old' school homage in the beat and hook - reminds me of a Tribe Called Quest, not to mention Pusha always delivers cold verses. These days, I'm a firm believer that women can be in videos without being naked - this is a perfect testament of that.


For all the dope chicks out there - this is for you! 


The Dream feat. Pusha T. - "Dope" {Bxtch}: