808's and Heartbreak

So, it seems to be the season for breakups. We're all having them. Whether it be from a boyfriend, lover, long-term jumpoff - everyone's experiencing the blues. It's tough, but happens in life. How we handle it is the real test.


I have this girl I know, who seems to jump from one relationship to the next. Never fulfilled by anything that takes place in any of them. Was actually living with her ex when she started dating her new ex. Moved out of her mom's home to live with the ex, moved out of his place to live with the new. Never really getting closure with anything before starting the next thrill. Tried to warn her to slow down - she swore she was in love. Young girl - so she knows everything.


Now - they break up. She's hysterical. Calls out of work for two days, claiming to be sick. Can't function, won't eat. Is this what we do when we lose our boyfriends? I think we need to talk. 


I won't lie - I've been in two major relationships in my 23 years, and it's devastating when things go sour. But never in my life have I lost the will to live over a man. Much less someone I was only dating for a few months. The problem is not knowing your self worth. If you don't value yourself first - no man will. And even if he does - you will never notice! What is it that you're missing in life that makes you need, absolutely NEED to be with someone all the time? There's a void you're trying to fill, and you've got to solve that issue before dating any man. Seriously. I tell you because I care. 


The worst part is - while you're starving yourself - he's eating just fine. That should be an indication that you need to scrape your heart off the floor, have a sandwich, and start moving on. Even if you guys may get back together later down the road - is he going to want some broken, wounded woman? I don't know why you guys broke up, but regardless of the reason I know nobody needs to wear their heart on their face. It looks bad, pitiful even. And it further projects the stereotype that all women are fragile, overly emotional creatures. At least cry in the bathroom and drop some Visene in your eyes. We all have feelings - but no one needs to see them. You ever see a man looking distressed after his girl dumps him? How come we can't follow the same principle? 

Lastly - this is what friends are for. Times like this are when you call up your comrades for a little venting and advice. Don't wallow in your sorrows and turn into mush. It's a turnoff. While you've got your head down crying - Mr. Right might walk by because he can't see your smile. Chin up, chest out, young lady!


So, sip a fruity drink, grab a book, write a poem. Find some release. And as my bestest friend always says: "Let no lame n*gga rule your world." Been our motto since 2002...