Sex, Love and Pain

Zune Says - Drake - Best I Ever Had

Feeling like I need to get off this sexual high-horse with a little ranting...

Not too many people know I lost my virginity at 12 years-old. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I'll spare the details, but I will admit that it shaped who I am, sexually and emotionally. Traumatizing experiences often leave us with certain stigmas, and to this day - I think I'm somewhat affected by what happened to me that day.

My question today is - how does sex (or the lack, thereof) affect us? Does it crowd your mind, or is it just an afterthought? Does it start your day - or does it end a lonely night? Do you even know what it is? |smile| To me, sex is art. It's beautiful when done correctly (and in incorrectly). The awkwardness of sex is sexy. Whether it's planned or impromptu, there's always some way to make it an experience. It took me a while to realize that, though. After my first time, I went through a phase where I wouldn't even look at guys. Don't get it twisted, I didn't look at girls, either - but I lost interest in everything males had to offer. It ruined my character, because I went from the bubbly girl who'd talk to anyone - to the passive chick who was always in the cut. I didn't have sex again for two years after that - and the second time was laughable at best - I still chuckle when I see him in my hood. Through that, I realized that sex isn't all people crack it up to be. All the fast girls glamorized it for nothing - right?

Well, not exactly - but it's not the Holy Grail. We don't need it to survive. I was afraid to be sexual when I was younger, because I didn't understand what it was, really. All I knew was something about a penis and a vagina, throw in some friction and screaming. Now as I get older, I've learned that there is so much that goes into having sex, and making love, and just plain ol' freakin. Cuz there's a strong difference.

There's always an emotional aspect to it, regardless of what people may say or think. Even simple jumpoffs spark some sort of emotional interest. I've never done a one-night stand thing, so I can't speak for the people who have. In that case, there's no opportunity for feelings. That's running off straight hormones and raw energy. I've evolved to the point where I now know sex can be used for a number of things -
Sleep aid (raise my hand)
Stress relief (here I am again)
Excercise (why not?)
Financial gain
Social status

Sometimes, what starts as simple sex flourishes into something more, and the benefit of that is - you already know what your partner likes. You get to skip the formalities and move straight into the relationship side of things. Other times, you end up with one of those - "I'm only calling so I can beat" type deals. If it's mutual, cool - if not - prepare for heartbreak. This typically happens to females, I probably know like one dude who was actually hurt by such an agreement.

We actually still have people who have never had sex. It's hard to believe, yes - but it's even harder to do nowadays. Everyone's out hunchin something, or someone - how do you manage to keep it in your pants? I was celibate for the whole 2007, so I know how hard it can be. Especially if you have a love interest - it's like being one dollar away from buying those Prada shoes you've been eyeing. Spend the dollar and have an empty wallet - but spend the dollar and have some fly ass shoes to show for it. Or, spend the dollar and be disappointed that the shoes weren't as great as they were in the window. I always reccomend saving your money. Sometimes, when we rush into things - we get more (or less) than we bargained for. Why trade in your virginity for something that may not be worth it? It's your one-time pass, you can't get it back after it's gone. I respect all the people I know who have managed to save themselves up to this far - and that's about a handful. I know how hard it is not to give in, cuz sometimes you're sitting there thinking - why am I not naked right now? Lol - when the opportunity presents itself in the right situation - you'll know. Take my word for it - you are saving yourself a great deal of stress without it. And building up your upper body strength with all that whacking off.

But - when you get that good "payowww" - you'll finally see what all the fuss is about.