Twenty Three - Life Drama Free

So. Yesterday was my birthday. I turned twenty three and here I am. I must say - I'm pretty proud of myself. Living on my own, full time working - no jail, no children, clothes on my back, food in my mouth. I am grateful to simply be alive at this point. With "so much troooouble in the world (Bob Marley voice)" - it's so easy to wake up dead nowadays. Over the course of the year, so many people from back home have been shot and killed, killed themselves, etcetera - it's saddening and a bit disheartening. 


{{Tangent: You ever just want to sit and be quiet? Not possible right now.}} 


Anyway - my life has taken me in some pretty interesting directions. I've lost people I love, loved people I lost - and now I'm focused on trying to live my own life. Find out where I want to be, who I want to be there with and how I want to get there.  I think I just want to be happy. It's really hard to pinpoint how I go about that. I feel like I want so much - but what exactly do I want? I want love, I want my friends to be around, I need my family. How do I balance that? This is the croasroads that I've reached during this birthday celebration. 


I'm sorry. I'm being super distracted right now. I'll be back. Forgive me...   


Sorry. Someone kept talking to me. I'm back now with full focus.


I finally know what I want in life. I want to be married with children, with a spouse that I love doing a job I enjoy making money that can last for a few generations. There's a few ways to achieve these goals and I plan on trying all of them. I have people in my life who are happy to support me in whatever I choose to do, with none of them judging me in any way. I can't ask for much more than that. I have to thank God every morning for the human beings in my life - because it took me years to build relationships like this. Considering that I basically started from scratch. Most of my old friends got wiped out of my atmosphere, with the exception of a small few. 


I think there came a time in some of our lives when we realized that all the drama and violence of small town Mt. Vernon left no room for progression. I don't have  to be on 7Days 7Nights to know I had a good time last weekend. I don't have to have hundreds of men calling my phone every day to know I'm desirable. The bottom line became the fact that we want more out of our lives. Some of us had to leave to get more. I wouldn't be living on my own in NY. I think I'd be stocking up on nice things, living with Mom dukes, and trying to be seen all the time. Not because that was my personality, but because that seems to be the norm. I'm far from normal, but even I was brainwashed back then. Gone are the days. 


We've got a few obstacles ahead, but I see a lot of big things for all our futures. Guarantee on my way to the top - all of you are coming with me. You ready? Twenty three, born on 6/23 - that must be something good...