HIV: The Monster...

So, someone at my job is in the hospital. Everyone that's gone to see him says the same thing: he looks bad. Skin barely clinging to his bones. One of my NY homeboys pulled me in and whispered to me - "He looks like he's got the fuggin monster..." Sadly, I have to agree. 


Growing up in Westchester County, I was a very paranoid teenager. The county held the record for the highest AIDS rate in New York State up to 2004 - only coming second to New York City. Our city alone was the second highest in the county. Lucky for me, I was in a monogamous relationship for most of my young life - and I was smart enough to protect myself.  I was always (and still am) afraid of catching a communicable disease; as I always fear that they would be passed on to my siblings and loved ones through kisses or touching. Yeah, those are the things that run through my mind. These concerns have worked in my favor so far. 

We had this ongoing joke, because of a porn he lent to my ex. In the movie, two roommates reported their stove being broken. The repairman comes to fix it while they "keep themselves busy." To test the oven, he makes toast in it - and does some "questionable things" on the toast. The girls eat it. Other things take place after. Every time he got laid, he'd say he "toasted the bread." Mixed with his broken English, the joke was hilarious. 


Imagining someone laying in a hospital bed is terrifying for any person with a heart. Considering that it could have been avoided makes it even more horrible. Imagine being him. Thinking to himself that he did this to his own body. Wondering why he didn't use condoms. With the prostitutes he chose to be with. The heartache of knowing he'll never be the same. I remember him telling me he had a girlfriend. They'd always be breaking up. Despite that - he would still say that he "toasted the bread," leading me to believe he was either cheating on his girlfriend, or they had made up. Little did I know, it was neither. 

HIV and AIDS plague the black community in so many different ways. Women contract it from their husbands, husbands contract it from their extracurricular lovers. Men contract it from their boyfriends who are living double lives. Prostitutes give it to everyone. It's a circular motion that could end with one simple piece of latex. Even in a "monogamous" relationship - you can never be too sure. It's a scary fact that is haunting people every day. I went to get my annual test last week, and breathed a sigh of relief when the doctor's assistant called with my results. You just never know. 

We don't know his official diagnosis, so I can only pray for his recovery. Luckily in this day and age, AIDS is no longer a death sentence. So if he does have it - there's hope. I urge you all to get tested - and be safe! Let's hope the toast hasn't really been burned...