Girl Code - What NOT to Do After a Breakup...

I'm taking a much needed 15minute break from my studying and I figured I'd use it for good instead of evil. As us young people know, "Cuffing Season" starts this month, and there will be a lot of breakups and make ups going on within this time. For those who live under a social rock, "(hand)Cuffing Season" is the time after summer where people prepare for the winter cold by selecting a dating partner to keep them warm. This often means fall-winter hookups that end when spring and summer begin - but they often lead into actual relationships. 

Within this time, there will be a lot of breakups. Boyfriends may see other females that catch their eye, girlfriends may see guys with more to offer than just hard dick and bubble gum. Sometimes, we're just plain old tired of the person we're dating. It happens. What I tend to see during Cuffing Season are tons of bitter women (guys too) sulking and pouting, stomping around making senseless noise. Here are a few rules to live by:



1. DO NOT run to Facebook and air out your relationship. 
       This usually backfires. I am so tired of seeing people (tagged and untagged) being put out with the laundry; all their personal business on display for intentional public humiliation. Not only is this extremely spiteful, it's really lame. If you can't talk about it in private - please don't talk about it on the internet. 

2. On the Rebound? Be Tactful.  
      There's nothing wrong with changing your Facebook status to "Single,"nothing wrong with posting pics of you and the girls on Ladies' Night looking fab. Where the line gets blurred is the females who start posting slutty pics and raunchy status posts to gain attention. Are you really going to find someone that respects you by doing all that? You end up looking desperate, and attracting all kind of internet creeps who'll pretend to like you just to get your coo cat. Save the pics for private use. 

Now is not the time to live out your "ratchet," tasteless fantasies in the club. Don't start making out with strangers, dry humping on the dance floor or getting pissy wasted so your homegirls have to drag you home. 

Casual sex with every guy you've ever liked is NEVER a good idea. Think about your reputation and your health. Last thing you want is a HOE title at the end of your name. 

3. Subliminals. Stop it. 
      Sending jabs to your ex on the sly is just wrong (see Rule #1). Especially if the people in your social network know who he/she is. There's nothing wrong with a song dedication or two, but when you're writing lovelorn crybaby posts all day - people are going to take you off their news feed. 

4. Take Time to Utilize Your Friends
   This is the reason you never abandon your homeys for a significant other. If it doesn't work out, you've always got your friends to vent to. Take a few days to go out with them, have fun living the single life. It may be hard at first, but if you've got other single friends there's plenty out there to do. Hell, if all your friends are taken, they've gotta have some single friends! 

5. Get to Know Yourself!
     Here is prime time to get familiar with who you are. Relationships often take our personalities and mold them with the personality of whoever we're with at the time. Especially if your relationship lasted for a year or more - there are certain routines and behaviors you've adapted. Time to get rid of those things and get back to yourself. Remember what makes you laugh, cry and annoyed. Build your confidence back up before you jump back out into the dating world. You owe it to yourself and the new person you may meet along the way. 

Last but not least:
6. Leave the Baggage at the Airport
    The Golden Rule of Dating is to never bring your pain from an old relationship into your new one. This breeds resentment towards your new partner, which is unfair for him/her. During your time alone, you're more than welcome to weed out the minor details that you could have changed. 

Did you contribute enough to groceries? Did you get a little lazy? Were you a nag? Chronic complainer? Things like that can be helpful to a new relationship, but major issues like cheating, death, abuse, family dislikes can seriously hinder you from finding something great. Just because your mother didn't like your last boyfriend doesn't mean this one shouldn't be introduced to her. Maybe she just knew he was a jerk. And since your ex girlfriend cheated with your whole basketball team - that doesn't mean the new girlfriend will. For all you know, this young lady may have been waiting for a man who would respect her body as well as her mind. Never ASSume. 

Coming from a chick who's been in that single rut before - I can spot a bitter woman or a hurt man from a mile away. Not too many people are trying to adopt the wounded animal from the shelter. Nothing wrong with a dog who limps, though - that's a sign of strength and endurance. Take what you've learned from your past and build a better future, don't wallow in your wounds. 

Take my rules and run with them - I promise you'll have a very productive Cuff Season! God speed my lovelies!