Wednesday, November 30, 2011

_Insomniac Dreaming..._

I have chronic insomnia. I've had it for as long as I can remember. There was a time in my life where my sleeping patterns would go in cycles. One week I would sleep great, the next week I would sleep a little less, then less the next week, then five days without sleep. Then ten days. Then - my body would crash. I'd be unable to focus, feel irritated, and then I would fall asleep. Anywhere. Sometimes while working. While talking to customers, too. I would sleep great for a few days, then the cycle would start again. 


With insomnia, at my worst - I'd sometimes see things. People walking past me who didn't, hearing people say things they never said, blurred vision. It was bad. I haven't had it that severe in a few years, but I still have problems sleeping. Last week I was jerked out of my sleep from a bad dream. You know, the type where you feel like you're falling, so you reach out to catch yourself. Or reach up to block your face from being hit by a rock. Woke up in a sweat, but could not remember the dream. Last night - I had another one. This one lasted long enough for me to grab some of it. But I cannot figure out what the dream is saying to me. 


Myself and two girls (one of which I think I don't like much) are walking down a street. I don't know which city, and I don't know which girls  - but I know they were familiar like friends or acquaintances. We walk up to a warehouse looking building, and try to peek into the door window. It is unlocked, so we open the door and go inside.


The room is huge, with various hallways on each wall. We look down the hallways, but don't enter any. As we turn to leave the warehouse, someone walks by rolling a table. They don't say anything, they just walk from one hallway across to another. Two more people pass by. The warehouse door opens, and a man with a ski mask comes in, pushing a hospital gurney. On that bed was what appeared to be a body bag, but it was white. It seemed to be made out of felt or gauze, and blood was seeping through the fabric. 


Somehow, I end up on a gurney - and the masked man is raping me. I'm not screaming, but I am resisting. It then seems to become consensual, since I stopped resisting. I remember thinking within the dream that he is cute, because he took the mask off somehow. I think he asked me to lunch after. 


That's all I remember. I don't know how to read the dream, and I wonder if had anything to do with my last dream. I just want to figure out what it may mean - because it may be a key to avoiding danger...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Weeknd - "The Knowing" ((Video))





I won't lie - I was afraid to watch this video ((Y'all know I'm a fraidey cat)). I have known The Weekend for his eerie songs and even creepier videos. This, however, was a beautiful piece of work. Shot in "Jankyvision," the director used still shots and illustrations to piece together a moving, living music video. With a complicated, yet awesome storyline. 


There's an official synopsis of what's taking place in the video, but I'll break it down in real-world terms. A jaded woman cheats on her boyfriend, so he decides to go out and reciprocate the action. The girlfriend is hurt, so she does what she can to bring hell to his world. He cheats on her, but decides that the greatest pain he can give her is to stay in the relationship - knowing all the while that she betrayed his trust. She steals his heart with intentions of breaking it, yet she cannot. It continues to grow, and grow - until she gives up and puts his heart somewhere that no other woman can find it... 


You can read Necole Bitchie's story run-down after the jump. I think I may watch this again. Word on the street is that The Weeknd is Ethiopian, which completely explains his Haille Selassie reference in the video. Everyone has endured heartache at least once in their life. We choose to live, we choose to move on - despite the fact that our exes may not want us to. It's all about The Knowing... 







via Necolebitchie.com...
The video for this twisted, emotional track takes a sci-fi approach by featuring The Weeknd as emperor of planet Ethios X. His empress created him by combining a man she enslaved with an emperor from Earth (Haile Selassi) she had killed in 1974. Together, they rule Ethios X until an alien shows The Weeknd a vision of the empress’s quadruplet offering herself up to some hellish figure. He has her assassinated at his throne, and the empress gets so pissed about it that she splits their planet in two. This starts a war between both worlds with the empress sending assassins over to steal The Weeknd’s heart for her to destroy.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Lotus Flower Bomb (Cover)



I
've been singing this in the car for weeks now, did it in the shower today and decided to record it. Been feeling like hitting the studio lately, might wanna start practicing a bit...



Hahahah, I keep playing it over and over. I only did one take, hope it came out okay! 


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Flights & Skype...





Distance. Definitely a trial in any relationship. What I've learned, though - is that the strong bonds can survive through any mileage. It gets tough, being away from the one you want to spend your days with, but there's a reason for everything - and destiny always gets what she wants. 


Songz, of course is discussing the lifestyle of a successful celebrity - but the lyrics apply to us regular people, too. Life keeps us busy sometimes, no matter where our significant other lives. It's definitely more difficult to maintain an out of town romance, but the challenge sometimes adds to the allure. Long distance relationships require real desire and interest, or I can guarantee they won't work. I have a homeboy who lives in Florida and his girlfriend lives in Canada! They seem to be working out quite fine, while couples that live towns apart can't even maintain. It's all about the passion. It's all about enjoying the journey...


"So, let's Skype - tonight..." 


Trey Songz - Flights & Skype...





For the Love of Food...


Everyone knows I am a foodista. If there's nothing else I could be able to do in life, I should hope I never lose the ability to eat. My Granny instilled in me the theory that if you eat and appreciate every meal, you will never go hungry. So far, so good. 


My goal is always to introduce my friends to new experiences. On my last trip to Orlando, I got Kendra to try sushi for the first time. This weekend, we chose to dine at a spot called JinSushi. It's a small place, but the service was great and the food was awesome. The layout is perfect for group dining, and they serve the sushi on planks instead of dishes. 

The appetizer - Age Tofu...



Dessert - Mochi ice cream - my favorite!



The price point was extremely affordable, I am so glad I stumbled upon this little gem. Next time, I'll venture towards the sake, but I was driving :-/.

I can't wait for the next food adventure!



JinSushi


8250 Sunset Strip  Sunrise, FL 33322
(954) 747-1101 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Tattoo Lifestyle - Interview With Rico Zombie

Never judge a book... 


I first saw this guy in someone's music video. I can't remember who - but then he showed up in Lady Gaga's "Born This Way". Clearly he wasn't born like that, but I am always intrigued by tattoos and why people get them. I know with mine, each one has a story - but it seems like each one of his stories has a tattoo! Rico is a very handsome young man, and he has definitely been through a lot. Peep the Dermablend transformation after the jump - and you'll see just how handsome he is... 



Dermablend Promo...









Friday, November 18, 2011

Infidelity - Me 4 U







Songz's Anticipation 2 Mixtape has got me thinking...


A lot of the songs tie into my life; things I've been through, places I've been - even my journey now. This song is a part of my past, and each time I hear it, I shake my head. The dialogue at the end really brought back some feelings for me, and it makes me wonder who else has experienced this type of heartache.


Is it possible for a human being to love another so much that they would cheat on them, yet not allow that person to leave the relationship? This is one question I could not find the answer to. Is it truly love that draws someone to psychosis, or is it pure selfishness? Listening to the lyrics, I'd shake my head every so often and think back to the past few years. 


"She told me I'm dying, I'm trying to survive. I'll never be enough if it's just me 4 u." 


Any woman would become jaded if they felt that no man can be satisfied with just one woman. When you fall in love with someone and find out he's unfaithful, or even just plain old promiscuous - you begin to question yourself. I wondered what could be wrong with me. Just listen to Infidelity (part 1) - "You kept me on this pedestal, no matter how much I let you down." I really put myself in a place where I felt like maybe I wasn't good enough, and that's a low point I've never experienced before. I found myself putting up with things, lowering my standards - and for what? To remain in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship with someone who only half way wanted to be there. But wouldn't let me leave...


Listen to the dialogue. Ladies - have you been here? Are you still there? If not, what made you leave? If so - where is your breaking point? When do we take the time to think about what WE need? Is it okay to lower your standards for someone you love? 


"You can never find another man, cuz I ain't never gonna understand. Even though I'm doin' wrong girl, you can never move along girl - cuz it's just me 4 u." 


And believe me when I say - no level of stalking, no abuse (which I would never EVER tolerate. I wish a ninja would...), no threats should keep you with someone who's hurting you emotionally. He may think I don't notice, but I do. I see you...


I tell no lies when I say music is my life. I think it was that song that actually made me get up and leave. It was a long road trip, and the drive home always seems longer when you leave your destination. I heard so many songs that weekend, over and over again. "Infidelity" came on, and I was disgusted. To think that I could sit and take that kind of disrespect. Because that's what it is - no matter how much they say they love you. 


In retrospect, I can look back at this and smile, and hope that other women who have been in that place get the sense enough to walk away. Know your worth - know their worth, too. Walk away and walk towards the destiny they deserve...


The journey continues... 


Infidelity/Me 4 U...


Friday, November 11, 2011

Holiday 2011 Wish List...

Everyone knows I absolutely adore the holidays. Not because of the gifts, but because of the food, family and friends (not in that particular order). There's something about sharing space and time with the people I love. I do find joy in buying gifts for my loved ones; it is a great feeling when I see my siblings' eyes light up because they got something they wanted, or to see the excitement in a friend's eyes when they get something they didn't expect. This year will be no different. 


I have a few things I am eyeing this season - more than likely I will jump the gun and buy them for myself (^_^)...


Hello Kitty laptop bag. 




Hello Kitty is my favorite animated character of all times, and even at 24 years old, I still like having her around. I want a subtle, adult laptop bag with a little Kitty touch to it. At the rate that things are going - I may have to make this bag myself. 
















Cat-eye Lenses...


I've always wanted a pair, but just haven't found any in the optics stores. eBay is going to be my best friend on this search. These are perfect! 
































Analog Watch...


I've had a few, but I need something new and casual for daily wear. Brightly colored watches add a stylish touch to even the simplest outfit. 
































Pink Loves NFL Line...


I am getting more into American Football and Basketball as the years progress - I was raised on Soccer and Baseball - but I love this new line from VS. The panties are in my favorite cheeky cut, and the loungewear looks very comfy and warm. Steelers or Giants are the way to go on this one. 




















Michael Kors Olympia Python flats...


Not really big on monograms or big logos,
I pay more attention to quality and detail. 
These are perfect for light days at work, or semi-casual lunch and dinner dates. I can see this with a nice T-shirt, simple straight leg jeans and a blazer. 


Ooh, I'm gonna need a clutch to go with it! 




L.A.M.B. Dorset Barcellon Clutch...


Perfect! Simple and chic, looks spacious enough to house my phone, lip gloss, keys and taser. ((Yes, I carry one of those)) 












I can't wait for Christmas to come! It just gets me in the happiest mood. I start my holiday shopping this week, and I'm so excited to get everything what they want this year. Hope everyone enjoys the season as much as I do! 



Tuesday, November 8, 2011

R.I.P. Heavy D.





R.I.P. Heavy D...


Information is still pending on how Heavy passed away, but we definitely lost a real musician today. He represented Mount Vernon (NY) anywhere he went, and we appreciated him for that. Real music heads bow our heads for the Overweight Lover. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

Drake Feat. Rihanna - "Take Care"



This album has been much anticipated by Drake, and of course it would be leaked nine days before the official release. All these successful rappers definitely need to take a page from Hov's production team, and keep their masters airtight and hand-delivered...

Anyway, I "came across" this track from the album, and I am very excited to hear what else the album has in store. I refuse to download the album, but I will definitely have this song on repeat in the car next week.

Drake feat. Rihanna - "Take Care..."






{{FitNess 2.0}} Kombucha for Life...

Some of you may remember that I was brewing my own Kombucha tea a while back, and I recently gave up because I couldn't get it fizzy enough. Today I want to go into WHY I drink it.


If you know me in the real world, you may often see me with a pretty glass bottle of funny looking drink in my hand. Normally, it's GT's Synergy drink, but lately it has been Kevita Coconut Kombucha. It looks odd, sometimes smells like vinegar - but is one of the best things I have encountered in my dietary journey thus far. 

I recommend Gingerberry and Passionberry Bliss...


((From seedsofhealth.co.uk)))
Kombucha





Kombucha is a living health drink made by fermenting tea and sugar with the kombucha culture. The result can taste like something between sparkling apple cider and champagne, depending on what kind of tea you use. It's not what you'd imagine fermented tea to taste like.
green tea kombuchaThe origins of Kombucha have become lost in the mists of time. It is thought to have originated in the Far East, probably China, and has been consumed there for at least two thousand years. The first recorded use of kombucha comes from China in 221 BC during the Tsin Dynasty. It was known as "The Tea of Immortality".
It has been used in Eastern Europe, Russia and Japan for several centuries. It's from Japan in 415 AD that the name kombucha is said to have come. A Korean physician called Kombu or Kambu treated the Emperor Inyko with the tea and it took his name, "Kombu" and "cha" meaning tea. Russia has a long tradition of using a healing drink called "Tea Kvass" made from a "Japanese Mushroom".
From Russia it spread to Prussia, Poland, Germany and Denmark but it seems to have died out during World War Two. After the war Dr Rudolph Skelnar created renewed interest in kombucha in Germany when he used it in his practice to treat cancer patients, metabolic disorders, high blood pressure and diabetes.

I have found kombucha to settle my tummy, help with cramps during those "lady times," aids in hunger control AND has serious probiotic benefits. The first time I sipped it, I was like ewwww!! It has a vinegar after taste most of the time, and the little bacterial cultures are floating around the bottle. The flavored variations make it easier to handle, and the coconut version is definitely more tasty for newcomers. Ask anyone at my job who drinks it, we all have become hooked! A week cannot pass without me drinking at least two bottles.

I say that, to say this - a lot of times we as human beings have health issues that can be solved in holistic and natural ways. Instead, we end up at the doctor paying hundreds for medicine that doesn't fix the problem, it simply masks or removes the symptoms. Don't be afraid to explore the natural options first. Did you know that plain yogurt can cure yeast infections? It has similar probiotic effects as kombucha and restores the good bacteria to the lady region. Who knows what those medicines do to our insides? As I continue this health journey, I find more and more ways to stay healthy without the doctor's orders. After all, if you're never sick - how will he get paid? 

I also discovered that Kevita contains more bacterial cultures than Kombucha. It has less sugars, contains coconut water (which is great for your hair, skin and nails) and costs less (my favorite). Probiotics are the new wave, Dr. Oz is talking about them nowadays - but don't say I didn't tell you first! You can find these drinks at your local health food store, of if you're brave - you can make them yourself. Trust me, it's better to buy it. 

Homework and Kombucha...

Read more on Kombucha here:
http://www.synergydrinks.com/enlightened/products.aspx
http://kevita.com/what-difference-between-kevita™-and-kombucha

Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Black Girls Experience ((AKA Why Black Girls Rock))...





In my 24 years, I have already managed to be subject to ignorance and racism. I have felt the rage build inside of me as a white girl called me a "nigger" on the playground. She consequently felt my rage, as well. I learned on that day, how it felt to be discriminated against. I was only eight, and my father sat me down (after I sent her running to her parents) and explained that I would not be a stranger to this behavior. People fear what they don't understand, and being Black has way too many facets for any outsider to comprehend. 


Throughout the years, I have grown proud of my heritage. I embrace each one and draw out their strengths. I never felt the need to downplay any other race - because I've had strong Black women in my life who embodied what real women should be. Who else do you know can come home from an eight hour shift, cook, clean and watch the kids while Daddy's off making money for his family? Live-in nanny? What's that? Help with homework, while sewing a wedding dress from scratch, getting up for a 9-5 the next day. Came to America with nothing, and made sure their children had everything they needed. I never went to bed hungry. Not one night. Had gifts under the tree every Christmas. My parents kissed me goodnight - every night. I was loved. THIS is what a Black family should be. Right? 


I am educated. I will never apologize for that. Ma used to spank us for coming home speaking like the hood kids. From that, we learned how to turn that off and on; adapt in the business world. I earned my way into preparatory school with the rich kids when I was only in Junior High. Left Rye Country Day and went straight to Fordham Prep. While my peers were out at parties, I was home doing weekend work, totally optional. AP and Honors classes in high school. I did that. And got accepted to each college I applied to. Still living in the hood didn't mean I had to BE hood. THIS is what the Black girl should be doing. Right?


And somehow, I still get discriminated against - to this day. Often, by my own people. I remember walking into the first day at my current job. Big hair, big glasses, bright clothes - even brighter smile. Oh, the whispers - the insults! How horrible it is to know that your fellow Black women would rather talk about you than to you. How common it is to see Black women fighting in the streets, harming, stabbing - killing each other - for what? Young girls like Amber Cole, doing horrendous acts on video - with pride!?! How can this happen? Why does it happen? The answer is simple - they lack love. 


So many key elements are lacking from these Black girls' lives. Fathers, mothers who care - peers who strive for better. Most of these parents are either young, trying to reclaim their youth out in the streets, or out struggling to make ends meet to feed their child. This is not an excuse though - love is free and only takes a second to give. Take care of your children, no matter how young or old you are. No matter if their daddy/mommy left you to care for them by yourself. No matter how much or how little money you have. Hug them every day, sit and talk to them whenever you can. Instill that pride in them that only a family can give. Let your daughter know she is worth more than what the boys tell her - and she should value herself before any of them. Teach your son to respect women, since he came from one - and will create a child from that same species in the future. 


Despite all those adversities, there are plenty of Black girls who make it through. The ones who study all night to earn their scholarships. The ones who work two jobs to pay off their student loans and be independent. The girls who fight every day to stay in school, even with a child at home. Don't judge, encourage. We have gone through so much in our history, there should be nothing we can't get through. Never let your reasons become your excuses. Don't be a victim of your circumstance, be a victor of your situations. I work hard every day to stay out of the statistics - I refuse to shame my parents and let their hard work go in vain. I have so many plans for the future - I "just gotta make it". Be proud of yourselves, know that you are beautiful - anyone else should compliment that fact, not validate it. Too many of our Black girls rely on others to boost their confidence - create your own! 


I empower my younger sisters every day to be themselves. From their skintone, to the textures of their hair, to the way they speak. Everything about them was created by God - and he only makes works of art. It is up to the canvas to decide how their beauty shines.


As Angela Davis was told when walking into her racially integrated school, with people screaming at her and telling her to leave - "walk forward, keep your head up, and don't. look. back." Us Black girls hold the key to the future - no matter what anyone says. In this day and age, we cannot blame anyone else but ourselves for our successes or failures. No matter what your ethnicity, if you're Black - you're Black. Be proud, raise your children with pride - for "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world..."


This is why I rock. What about you? 









Friday, November 4, 2011

"Maybe I'm Trippin'..."

But I think I'm falling...


And I am afraid. 





Thursday, November 3, 2011

"In the Morning..."





Baby, the winter's so cold
I eat the meal fast 
And sip this dinner wine slow
I know you see my
Ass poking out this chair - 
So,
Let's skip dessert,
And head straight to the crib
So you can make this skirt - 
disappear.
We here, my vision ain't so clear
Two glasses of Patron
And now I'm worried bout my hair,
But you don't care


I'm scared,
That I'm gon' get you here
Just to find out you can't perform,
But we already here - 
Let's get to business
I know you got it by the things you do
The way you walk, the way you talk
The way you call me boo
Yeah it's true, the way you move -
You do somethin' to me.
And boy, I caught the vibe 
Like you threw somethin' to me -
So I threw it back


Now all your niggas holla
"Who is that?"
Oh boy she bad, nigga
What you bout to do with that?
I'm finna take him home
No need for more Patron
Cuz we zonin'
I wanna slow whine
He wanna hit it in the morning... 



Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Trey Songz - "Anticipation 2" Mixtape




As if "Anticipation" didn't put a lot of us girls (and guys) into certain feelings, the SongBook is at it again.   He is truly evolving as an artist, especially with his harmonies and rap interludes. I suspect he's on the production end as well, and the intstrumentals have a Songz twist to them. 


I reccomend:
"Don't Judge" 
"Still Scratchin' Me Up" 


Go ahead and download it, you know you wanna...






Feast your ears, then feast your eyes...



Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj - "Dance" ((Video))









I found it funny that Nicki says "I guess them ass shots wore off..." 
I think we all know she had some work done. No future in frontin' - right? 
Kudos to her for practicing her whining skills - put those assets to good use, girl. 


Oh yeah, Big Sean's in this video, right?


Wheeewwww, Nicki! 


Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj - "Dance"