In my 24 years, I have already managed to be subject to ignorance and racism. I have felt the rage build inside of me as a white girl called me a "nigger" on the playground. She consequently felt my rage, as well. I learned on that day, how it felt to be discriminated against. I was only eight, and my father sat me down (after I sent her running to her parents) and explained that I would not be a stranger to this behavior. People fear what they don't understand, and being Black has way too many facets for any outsider to comprehend.
Throughout the years, I have grown proud of my heritage. I embrace each one and draw out their strengths. I never felt the need to downplay any other race - because I've had strong Black women in my life who embodied what real women should be. Who else do you know can come home from an eight hour shift, cook, clean and watch the kids while Daddy's off making money for his family? Live-in nanny? What's that? Help with homework, while sewing a wedding dress from scratch, getting up for a 9-5 the next day. Came to America with nothing, and made sure their children had everything they needed. I never went to bed hungry. Not one night. Had gifts under the tree every Christmas. My parents kissed me goodnight - every night. I was loved. THIS is what a Black family should be. Right?
I am educated. I will never apologize for that. Ma used to spank us for coming home speaking like the hood kids. From that, we learned how to turn that off and on; adapt in the business world. I earned my way into preparatory school with the rich kids when I was only in Junior High. Left Rye Country Day and went straight to Fordham Prep. While my peers were out at parties, I was home doing weekend work, totally optional. AP and Honors classes in high school. I did that. And got accepted to each college I applied to. Still living in the hood didn't mean I had to BE hood. THIS is what the Black girl should be doing. Right?
And somehow, I still get discriminated against - to this day. Often, by my own people. I remember walking into the first day at my current job. Big hair, big glasses, bright clothes - even brighter smile. Oh, the whispers - the insults! How horrible it is to know that your fellow Black women would rather talk about you than to you. How common it is to see Black women fighting in the streets, harming, stabbing - killing each other - for what? Young girls like Amber Cole, doing horrendous acts on video - with pride!?! How can this happen? Why does it happen? The answer is simple - they lack love.
So many key elements are lacking from these Black girls' lives. Fathers, mothers who care - peers who strive for better. Most of these parents are either young, trying to reclaim their youth out in the streets, or out struggling to make ends meet to feed their child. This is not an excuse though - love is free and only takes a second to give. Take care of your children, no matter how young or old you are. No matter if their daddy/mommy left you to care for them by yourself. No matter how much or how little money you have. Hug them every day, sit and talk to them whenever you can. Instill that pride in them that only a family can give. Let your daughter know she is worth more than what the boys tell her - and she should value herself before any of them. Teach your son to respect women, since he came from one - and will create a child from that same species in the future.
Despite all those adversities, there are plenty of Black girls who make it through. The ones who study all night to earn their scholarships. The ones who work two jobs to pay off their student loans and be independent. The girls who fight every day to stay in school, even with a child at home. Don't judge, encourage. We have gone through so much in our history, there should be nothing we can't get through. Never let your reasons become your excuses. Don't be a victim of your circumstance, be a victor of your situations. I work hard every day to stay out of the statistics - I refuse to shame my parents and let their hard work go in vain. I have so many plans for the future - I "just gotta make it". Be proud of yourselves, know that you are beautiful - anyone else should compliment that fact, not validate it. Too many of our Black girls rely on others to boost their confidence - create your own!
I empower my younger sisters every day to be themselves. From their skintone, to the textures of their hair, to the way they speak. Everything about them was created by God - and he only makes works of art. It is up to the canvas to decide how their beauty shines.
As Angela Davis was told when walking into her racially integrated school, with people screaming at her and telling her to leave - "walk forward, keep your head up, and don't. look. back." Us Black girls hold the key to the future - no matter what anyone says. In this day and age, we cannot blame anyone else but ourselves for our successes or failures. No matter what your ethnicity, if you're Black - you're Black. Be proud, raise your children with pride - for "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world..."
This is why I rock. What about you?
well said.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cousin!
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