Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Moral Dilemma - Pt. 2

So - I wrote to her last night. Told her how I felt. And I got a response that I did not expect.

It's crazy - cuz my whole mood did a 90 degree change.

I'm gonna include the conversation here, because I feel it needs to be quoted.

Names, of course - have been removed.

Hi ||Blank||,

So - before I go any further - do you understand the situation with ||Bar||? I just want to be clear before I say anything else.

Of course i do. That is a very sensitive subject for me Kimani bcuz ||Bar|| was like 1 of my brothers.
Today at 1:12am
I just don't understand what happened with you, and how you ended up in the situation. There's a few different stories - and all of them involve you setting him up. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

It's hard for me to even bring up the topic - cuz the first thing I feel is anger. He was one of my best friends - and I just can't shake the thought that you had something to do with him not being here.

1st of all kimani. I had absolutely nothing to do with Bar getting set up or watever. i really had 2 deal with alot of people speculating and rumors about me being there when he died, and to tell u the truth i'm really tired of having 2 defend myself. Im goin to let u kno becuz i understand ur frustratration in this situation. I was ultimately at the wrong place at the wrong time, poppin up at someone who i thought was my friends house to chill and it ended up being a FUCKED UP situation when i saw my friend laying on the ground convulsing and helpless... I was the one who tried 2 save his life, i called the cops and i was the one who had to deal with people wanting to kill me over something that had nothing to do wit me. I knew his family and he knew mine.. he was at my house for thanksgiving that year and i went to his fathers house...so imagine how i felt when the next time i saw his family was at his wake. and all of his people's is lookin at me just like you becaus the "heard". i dnt mean to get mad, because thats what im getting right now, but kimani u have no what i have gone through over this situation and honestly it doesnt matter to anyone else. The people who mattered to him, his family and real niggas all kno that i was not involved in that and i even testified against the niggas who they found out did it. This was a horribble situation that happend to a beautiful person and i really dont enjoy going back to it.

i really do understand how u feel, but jus think how i felt, SEEIING one of my friends dying in front of me, and i couldnt save him smh
Today at 1:45am
And that's exactly why I didn't approach you in a negative way. I can't lie - I was highly upset when I heard those things - but I know how ||Insert Hometown|| is - and people change stories and twist the truth a lot. No one will ever truly know what happened but you - I understand that completely.

I heard you were at the wake - I flew all the way from Florida to be there, and I wondered why you would show up if you had something to do with it. What you're saying makes sense, and I feel for you cuz of what you've been going through.

Sh*t's just crazy, I guess. Definitely an awkward and sad situation.

Sending message...


Now what? What do I think? How do I feel?

I don't know what I would do in a situation like hers. I don't know if I should believe her. We went to junior high school together - I know her vagueley. I know they were friends. Things change, though. My mind is reeling right now.

I'm gonna go lay down now. Sleep don't come easy.

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